Archive for November, 2009

Jesus Lights Updated!
 

I had John string’em. I couldn’t climb higher than my head without freaking out :) The bushes aren’t done, they have to be reorganized as taking the cobwebs from Halloween off screwed them up. Plus John bought purple lights (why I don’t know, then again, pink tree!) he wants to add in. Also I moved the “Merry Christmas” sign to the door. It’s open so hard to see, plus the porch lights drown it out in photos. The porch lights are actually stained glass/multi-colored lights. I just can’t find the giant candle flame lights to fit in them (maybe I should order off the net I know.) The sign might get moved again, should John actually make us a wreath this year for the door.

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I forgot to mention, everything blinks, so some of them are off or mid-blink, which is why the right side of the house looks off.

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Here is a photo taken earlier in the day .

Next up is the pink nightmare tree! I’m assembling it right now!

Oh Yes . . . It
 

Given I know people are busy this time of year, I’m posting this a bit early. One year I did it early, one year I did it later. However I know you bitches (said with lurve, please let’s not relive the “Lifetime” joke drama!) are expecting this from me again. I have been posting it for a few years now, and this time I think I’ve out done myself with what I’ve found for you. It’s almost brand spanking new, added this very month! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, see posts from 2008 and 2007.

BTW, if you didn’t know, the musical “Promises Promises” which this number comes from (based on the move “The Apartment”) is going to have a Broadway reprisal next year. It’s going to star THE Miss Kristen Chenowith (Glee, Wicked) and THE Mr. Jack McFarland (WIll and Grace)! Oh yes, I will be there!

BTW, next year perhaps I’ll learn this dance and do it for you. How about that? I know you bitches wanna see that!

They
 

Just a quick update. First, my server has had several problems the past few days. If you can’t reach the blog, no, I haven’t deleted it. Trust me, I’d give a message if I deleted it.

The pink abomination arrived. We haven’t set it up, I just finally cleaned up the last of the indoor Halloween decor this week in order to make room for Jesusmas. However with Bunny Poo Poo as a new addition this year, I am not going to be able to put out as much as I did last year (I blocked the door/corner he’s in with the Rudolph village). It might go on the mantle this year and my grandmother’s old vintage village elsewhere. I’d still like to get a new shelf for my computer/dining area to put the entire “Town of Bethlehem Nativity” on and then replace with DVDs/Videogames after.

Still, John couldn’t help but start lighting it up and admiring the horrific tree that makes Baby Jesus cry . . . .

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Fortunately Baby Jesus Doll arrived the day after. He is perfect! Small enough to go on top of the tree most likely. Needless to say, I’ve had fun with him in a few videos I posted on facebook :)

Photo on 2009-11-21 at 12.27 #2

Baby Jesus Lights
 

Took advantage of the nice weather to put up the Christmas lights. Don’t worry, they aren’t turned on (except to take this photo). I won’t plug them in until after Santa arrives at the Macy’s parade :)

Jesus Lights

It’s basically similar to last year, but with a red “Merry Christmas” sign added this year. Last year everyone was surprised to learn we were Jewish. We’re not, but most of the township we live in is, and well I put up blue and white lights. So I added “Merry Christmas!” this year.

I am not yet sure if I want to keep the Xmas sign and snow flakes where they are, I might move them back closer to the house for some depth. Plus they have all this blinking action, but because the icicles also blink I just keep them static. Actually I’d love to hang the snowflakes up above on the sides of the roof arch, but I’m pretty sure if I got up that high on a ladder I’d fall off. I fell off the porch last year doing these lights and I wasn’t that high from the ground as is.

Baby Jesus Is Watching!

I ordered this Baby Jesus doll which I found online. It’s it awesome! I think it might be TOO big to try and put at the top of the tree. I thought I could put it under the tree, but Nikko would probably pee on it or think it’s a toy for him and chew it up. I might be able to hang him on the wall next to the tree and make him point at it. I could even hang a little “touched by an angel” spotlight over his head.

The Gayest Christmas Tree On Earth . . .
 

If you’ve followed my blog long enough, you know about our gayest Christmas tree on earth. You also know that for years I’ve bitched about getting a more traditional looking tree, and every year it seems to die a little more and take far too much time to get all the lights working on.

Well John finally bought a new tree. Just when it couldn’t get gayer, it did . . . .

Gayest Tree On Earth

Baby Jesus is crying . . . and has caught H1N1 in the process.

Seriously, he was giggling with delight when he showed me what he ordered. I was thinking, nobody can come over and see our house this year.

I’ve decided this abomination needs Baby Jesus looking down on it from above, giving it stern disapproval. I quickly googled and found these two tree toppers!

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Now this is okay, you readers know my affinity for nativity scenes, but it also looks like something one might get at the dollar store (though it does not cost a dollar!).

Then I found this . . . .

Scary Jesus!

Top your Christmas tree with this Jesus tree topper, and remember the real meaning of Christmas. If I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me. It is truely beautiful. Top quality, silk-like gown, made of resin, nail prints in hands, and 12″ tall. Lights up when plugged in. King of Glory. Hollow in center. Not sold anywhere else, our own patented design. Can be used all year round, even Easter.

O M G! A Crucified Light-Up Jesus to put on top of your tree? I’m scared and oddly fascinated all in one, and it doesn’t help that it looks like they made it out of some old 1970’s Ken doll with face shaving action.

Clearly I have an important choice to make here :)

Post Note: I think I might just go buy a naked boy baby doll, wrap a cloth around his wee wee area, put a gold halo on his head and paint some blue tears on him and tie him to the top!

2012 Movie Review
 

2012 Movie So when I heard about this movie, I rolled my eyes. They have made a lot of straight to DVD ones about 2012, but this was an epic disaster blockbuster on Hollywood scale. I guess even Hollywood couldn’t pass this one up. Seeing I taught the Mayan Doomsday prophecy to my class in the spring, and I was sure the batch of students next semester will have seen this, I decided to take the movie in. Plus it did look like it could be a lot of fun (or horrible, it wasn’t going to be one of those in-between films). You’ll either come out of it liking it or hating it most likely. I actually liked it, I thought of it as a fun roller coaster ride, which in a lot of ways it was.

There have been a lot of movie trailers put out for this, as well as extended previews shown during Fox shows like “Glee.” If you have any interest in the film you probably know the main story. The film starts in 2009 with a group of scientists discovering that increased solar flare activity is heating up the earths core and destabilizing the crust. The president of the US gathers the heads of all other nations and a plot is formed in secret to save humanity and the world as best as possible. They begin secretly building ships, financed of course by the richest people in the world, whose financial contributions buy them and family members a ticket to ride. The rest of the world of course is left oblivious that the end is near.

Meanwhile as 2012 nears, the world begins to fall apart, literally. Earthquakes are happening all over, breaks in the earths crust. In walks John Cusack’s character, who while on a camping trip with his kids runs into a crazy pirate radio host (Woody Harrelson) and learns about a government conspiracy to build space ships to save select people, and gets a crash course in the doomsday scenario of December 21st, 2012. Shockingly Hollywood did its research here, well partially. They got the theory right, but Einstein’s support somewhat wrong.

The current theory is that on December 12, 2012 an alignment of the earth, sun and several planets will occur, one that only occurs every 640,000 years or so. Of course this date is also recorded in the Mayan calendar as “end of time.” In reality, it’s the end of a very long cycle of the Mayan calendar, which would begin a new cycle. As for the alignment, scientists actually say this will happen. However the doomsday part of course is anytime there is some astronomical event, it means the world will end according to a portion of the population. In this case the theories have it that the alignment will cause a magnetic pull, reversing the north and south poles magnetically, which will wreak havoc on earth and lead to earth crust displacement . . . basically the crust of the earth comes loose from the core and begins to rotate over the core’s surface. Einstein did write an intro to the 1950’s authors book who came up with this earth crust displacement idea, saying it was possible small shifts in the crust could happen . . . but then the theory of plate tectonics was discovered and so forth. In the movie though they only give this scenario in the crazy guy’s blog ramblings. The scientists attribute it to the solar eruptions sending down neutrinos to earth which are destabilizing the core. But in the end, the same thing happens, the earth’s crust comes loose and shifts. Continents sink, others rise.

Okay so basically you end up having John Cusak’s character realizing crazy radio guy was right, and he begins the quest to save his dysfunctional family (a son who hates him, the ex-wife disappointed in him and the 2nd husband who is seemingly perfect) and get them to one of these ships. This leads to them encountering a bunch of other characters in the film, all who have separate stories going on, all who end up connected in the end somehow.

The film is long, like 2 hours and 38 minutes long. So don’t take a large drink in if you have a small bladder! However I was able to somehow sit through the whole thing without a pee break (yes you did need to know). I really didn’t want to get up and miss anything. The idea that this guy could escape with his family as many times he did is completely ludicrous. He would have died in the first limo escape scene honestly. There are many of these “Oh please, you’d so be dead moments.” However it’s a movie, so we have to suspend disbelief, otherwise it wouldn’t be fun. This is where the movie is a winner, it is fun. The special effects are absolutely amazing. I don’t think once did I think to myself “That’s some bad CGI right there” as I have with many recent movies. There are several white knuckle moments in the unbelievable escape scenes. There were also several “Oh shits!” from people in the theater.

Two thumbs up! If you like action movies, disaster movies, special effect movies; you’ll probably love this. If you are someone who will be like “Oh no, this could never happen . . . ” well you’ll hate it. Oh and there are two shouts outs to “The Poseidon Adventure” in the movie. I’m sure there other disaster movies also referenced throughout as well, but I’m not that well versed in them all.

Titans Will Clash!
 

I only found out about this remake last week, and now there is a trailer out. I don’t know. It looks awesome, but it’s a remake of a movie I love as is, so will it live up? Probably not :) This time around at least my students will probably have seen the movie so I can use it in class next semester.

Enjoy!

Via Puntabulous

Technology Gaga!
 

Some mindless rambles and updates . . . .

I guess it’s been about 3 weeks since I put Windows 7 on my laptop and the old desktop. So far so good actually. Though as with any Windows installation, it generally takes a month or two to show its true colors. Vista ran great the first month, then crapped out. I’ll see how these are still running in January before deciding if Microsoft finally got something right :)

Our washer is STILL broke. John wanted to see if he could fix the problem before spending money. However he took his sweet time to sit down and do so, or even look at the handyman fix I found online (I googled the error code). A week later when he finally bothered to read the paper he said “Oh this is too technical for me, I don’t think I have the tools for this.” Um, couldn’t you have realized that a week ago had you read the paper! Grrrrr! The repairman fortunately comes tomorrow. We’ll see if he can fix it though.

It looks like I’m spending Thanksgiving in Jersey. I was planning to go to Virginia, but it looks like we might have a lot of house guests that week, ones I feel the need to keep an eye on. I won’t say anymore on that . . .

If I’m staying here I guess I have to get some grub together. Personally Thanksgiving is not a holiday I ever really enjoyed. All it meant was time off of work/school, and let’s face it, the Macy’s Parade blows nowadays. For me it now just means “time to start decorating for Christmas!” An employee of John’s invited us, and John’s brother, to his house for dinner. However I always get weirded out by sitting down to dinner with a bunch of strange people. We did this one year and while the food was good, it was a house full of people I didn’t know. John’s mom is going to Texas to see their other sister and her family. I don’t know what John’s sister here and her family are doing, probably going to one of her step-kids homes. A friend from school invited me (and John) to do it up with her, which I might take the offer. John won’t get out early enough from the farm I’m sure. In the end, I’m sure I’ll end up making some stuffing and a turkey meatloaf and watching Christmas specials on TV at home though.

Something I’m way excited about is that in December we are going to see the one and only Lady Gaga in concert! I have to admit, I’m really looking forward to this as much as a Madonna or Alanis concert. Just seeing her costumes is gunna be a fun experience on its own. I hope it’s all ridiculously outrageous. Her new video for “Bad Romance” came out today. I can only hope the concert is remotely like this video! I was seriously saying to myself just the other day “Nobody makes real music videos anymore . . . ”

Disney
 

Bah Humbug! So tonight I went to the movies. Originally I had intended to see “The Forth Kind,” but I have enough sleeping issues as is and I figured being paranoid aliens might come for me wouldn’t help. So I opted to go see “A Christmas Carol” instead.

Now I honestly had no intention of seeing it this early, since it is too early for Christmas. They could have waited for Thanksgiving when Santa arrives at the Macy’s parade. However long-time blog readers know I love my Baby-Jesus’ birthday related specials, and “A Christmas Carol” is probably my favorite. I have seen every version, I own most of them. So Disney and Mr. Robert Zemeckis had a big fan to please! I’m happy to report the movie was amazing! I could even tolerate Jim Carrey, who normally annoys me to no end. He was in fact really good in this movie.

I think I don’t have to tell you what this movie is about. If you don’t know what it’s about, well then I’m afraid you’re going to burn in hell. The story is faithful, and really if you’ve seen enough of them (or read the story) then you will be like me and anticipate almost every line.

So if you know the story, you’ve seen it a million times, why should you see this one? Cause it’s in 3D of course! Disney knew what they were doing, putting it out in 3D would make sure people came to see a story they could watch at home for free a million times over next month.

Not only is it in 3D, but it’s done in that creepy computer graphic style of “The Polar Express” where they use the actors for inspiration for the creepy 3D models of the character. Thankfully the technology has improved a lot, so people and especially the kids aren’t as creepy as they were in “Polar Express.”

While “The Polar Express” was a fun kids movie, at times this one is not. Parents need to research this movie (or read this review!) to determine if it’s appropriate for their kids. This is a movie about ghosts, and the ghosts are exceptionally well done. This is the other reason to see this movie, because of how well done the ghosts are. Scrooge, while not a ghost, is incredibly creepy with skeletal hands. Marley is the scary classic ghost who is also a rotting corpse. The Ghost of Christmas present starts of jolly and happy and as he reaches the end of his one day life on earth . . . well . . . I don’t want to spoil it. Of course there is the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, who is a wraith and definitely dark. Should you choose to take a small child, if they are prone to nightmares, you’ll be up all night!

The movie is amazing, but if you see it see it in 3D. There is no point seeing it any other way unless the 3D makes you ill. I saw it on a very small screen, but I will probably see it later on IMAX at some point. There are a lot of very fast moving segments where the ghosts are whipping Scrooge around. So the bigger the screen, the more motion sickness that will probably ensue in these parts!

Two Thumbs Up. See it, or Baby Jesus will cry.

Halloween 2009: That
 

So lots of things to talk about in this post, things that float into my head but without Twitter I don’t tweet, so I to turn to the blog.

Halloween is officially over. I did in fact jinx myself. I waited till Friday to order the tickets to the haunted house, thinking that would be safe, and the weather for Saturday was only supposed to be cloudy. Of course Saturday arrives and it’s rainy and gross. The hayride, one of the three Bates Motel attractions, was closed down. $#%@#$%@%!!!!! There are two other attractions at this place though, a corn maze and a haunted house, and fortunately they were open. It just sucks as the hayride was so awesome. The haunted house and maze were awesome too though, having been expanded on from the previous year. However had I known it would have rained, I would have just gone back to the prison. Quicker drive, all inside for the most part.

The weather for this week says sunny but cold. Yeah we’ll see! I need my decorations to dry out so I can take them down . . . which means NO RAIN! I might be horrid and put up the icicle lights at the same time. No I’m not plugging them in though, just putting them up while it’s still somewhat warm.

With all the rain we’ve had this summer/fall, I think we may be in for a messy winter. I better get a good snowstorm dammit, we’ve been jipped on snow the past several years. I want a monster blizzard, just one, that shuts down the state and makes everything quiet outside.

Over the weekend Keith brought his new puppy with him. He was adorable, but the little monster wasn’t house broken at all and just pissed and shit everywhere. He was also a hyper puppy and just couldn’t sit or sleep . . . period. It made me realize I don’t want another puppy anytime soon.

A WTF rant that would have gone on Twitter . . . I just found out Reynold’s discontinued their handi-vac bags/system. I wondered why I couldn’t find the bags anymore. Not only that, the cheap alternative hand-pump Glad version also seems to be gone as well. I was going to buy them, but nope! So now I’m bag to sucking the air out of the bags before freezing or refrigerating them. I’ll have e-coli in no time!

Finally tomorrow is election day in many states, ours included. The Republican and Democrat candidates are neck and neck in the polls, and this year an Independent is in the race and has been gaining a lot of support. There is no chance in hell that he’ll win, but he will steal votes away from the other two. Which party has more people crossing lines to vote for the Independent will basically decide who wins. In the past even though the two-party system sucks and the candidates might not be ideal, I never understood why someone would throw their vote away on someone without a chance. Now I get it, it sends the message that people are tired of the bullshit the R/D give us. I’m voting Independent tomorrow, I know I’m not alone, but it most likely will insure a Republican win for the first time in many years here. I think Republicans are probably going to stick to their candidate, while a lot of the Democrats vote for the independent. For me a lot is at stake too, the Republican has made it clear there will be no gay marriage in Jersey as long as he’s in office.

And that’s about all I have :)