The Gayest Christmas Tree On Earth . . .
 

If you’ve followed my blog long enough, you know about our gayest Christmas tree on earth. You also know that for years I’ve bitched about getting a more traditional looking tree, and every year it seems to die a little more and take far too much time to get all the lights working on.

Well John finally bought a new tree. Just when it couldn’t get gayer, it did . . . .

Gayest Tree On Earth

Baby Jesus is crying . . . and has caught H1N1 in the process.

Seriously, he was giggling with delight when he showed me what he ordered. I was thinking, nobody can come over and see our house this year.

I’ve decided this abomination needs Baby Jesus looking down on it from above, giving it stern disapproval. I quickly googled and found these two tree toppers!

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Now this is okay, you readers know my affinity for nativity scenes, but it also looks like something one might get at the dollar store (though it does not cost a dollar!).

Then I found this . . . .

Scary Jesus!

Top your Christmas tree with this Jesus tree topper, and remember the real meaning of Christmas. If I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me. It is truely beautiful. Top quality, silk-like gown, made of resin, nail prints in hands, and 12″ tall. Lights up when plugged in. King of Glory. Hollow in center. Not sold anywhere else, our own patented design. Can be used all year round, even Easter.

O M G! A Crucified Light-Up Jesus to put on top of your tree? I’m scared and oddly fascinated all in one, and it doesn’t help that it looks like they made it out of some old 1970’s Ken doll with face shaving action.

Clearly I have an important choice to make here 🙂

Post Note: I think I might just go buy a naked boy baby doll, wrap a cloth around his wee wee area, put a gold halo on his head and paint some blue tears on him and tie him to the top!

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5 Responses to “The Gayest Christmas Tree On Earth . . .”


 
WV Nan Says:

Oh my God, Dustin–PLEASE !!! tell me this is a weird re-occuring dream that you have had and you forgot to mention that fact in the haste of hitting send!!

The only thing that could top this are the toppers you found. Poor Baby Jesus–he’s either crying or having a very good laugh–thinking—You complained before and asked for a new tree—be careful in asking!!! Prayers are answered–eventually!!!

It looks like a twelve foot tree–you could add pink bows, cotton candy ornaments, and foo foo tinsel!

Is John realy excited or pulling your leg?!

I searched the old tree—honestly—doesn’t look so bad after all!!

But I trust your creative side—you will create a sight to be seen!

So how do you think the kitties will react to this one?

Please keep me posted—I can hardly wait–sounds like a saga to me.

Love and huge cyber hugs,
Lin WV Nan

 

 
brand new woo Says:

I’m sorry but that tree? I LOVE IT. 🙂

 

 
Nik Says:

lol… I have no words about the tree…
Have you thought about what you are going to put on the tree or underneath it?
How about something like that:
http://www.indiana.edu/~wanthro/xmas.jpg

 

 
Becky Says:

One of my best friends has a 4 foot pink tree. She puts blue lights on it and lots of tinsel. It rocks 🙂 And that second Jesus reminds me of the Burger King king. I think it would scare me.

 

 
boo Says:

I love the pink tree. I think it would look great with white and glass bulbs and white lights. I’m thinking about getting an old silver tree with the floor color wheel to light it. We had one when I was a kid and I would like to relive the memory.