So I just got back from “Superman Returns” and these are my thoughts, without spoiling any of the film.

The plot, for those who don’t know, goes like this. Superman has been missing for five long years, he up and left the building without so much as saying goodbye. He left to search out the remnants of his home planet of Krypton, which some astronomers discovered five years ago. After doing so, he returns. Clark Kent has also been gone, he went on a world trip to find himself. In his absence Lois Lane has had son who is now five (hmmmmmm) and has had a long engagement to Richard White, nephew of Perry White the editor in chief of the Daily Planet. Lois seems a bit bitter that Superman up and left, she’s won a Pulitzer for her editorial “Why The World Doesn’t Need Superman.” Of course when Lois actually does need Superman is when he reappears to the world. Oh yeah, Lex Luthor is out of jail and trying to take over the world and all that stuff.

What I liked . . . .

The opening credits: They have been kept the same as the old Superman films. Not that credits matter that much, but it was a nice touch.

John Williams’ Score: Both the original “Superman Theme” as well as “Can You Read My Mind (Lois and Superman’s Love Song)” have been kept. VERY IMPORTANT! Superman just isn’t Superman without these two songs.

Brandon Routh as Superman/Clarke Kent: Overall I really liked Brandon. It doesn’t hurt that he looks a lot like Christopher Reeves and looks great in the suit. I think they made a good choice casting a relatively unknown. To have cast someone huge in the role probably would have been a major mistake. Routh does a good job acting wise as well. He REALLY has Clarke Kent down pat. Superman? Well, we’ll discuss that later.

Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor: Nobody can fill Gene Hackman’s place in this role, but Kevin does a great job. He looks like Lex Luther and has the character down well. The one thing this Lex Luthor lacks is a sense of humor, which Gene’s version had.

Parkey Posey as Miss Kitty: It’s Parker Posey, what’s not to love? My only complaint is she wasn’t given more of a role. She should have been the comedic role in this film, and she was to an extent. They should have used her more.

What I didn’t like . . .

Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane: I really haven’t seen her in anything else, so I can’t comment on her skills as an actress overall. Was she terrible in the film? No. The problem is she just WASN’T Lois Lane. Filling Margot Kidders shoes is not an easy role, this becomes apparent. Lois is not a funny/sarcastic character in this film, she’s pretty much a pissed of jilted ex and acts the part. Honestly, in this film Kate bares a striking resemblance to Holly Marie Combs character Piper on “Charmed.” I kept feeling as if I was watching Piper trying to play Lois Lane.

Dark/Depressed Superman: Not only is Superman’s suit a dark off color, so is his character. I am guessing this is how the role was written, but it takes away a big something from the movie. While I liked Routh, his Superman just isn’t a very happy one. Christopher Reeves had that smile and cracked jokes while clobbering the villains (“Good Vibrations?”). Don’t expect that here. Don’t expect Superman to talk much at all, another thing that annoyed me. For the star of the movie, Superman had the least lines it seemed looking back.

The Plot: Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of action in the film and some good touching scenes. However after you’ve left the theater and think about it, the plot is generally weak when you compare it to the original two Superman films. Superman returns, Lex Luthor tries to conquer the world, Superman saves the day. Sure a few twists are thrown in, but Lex doesn’t come off as much of a master criminal as in previous films (ala the holograms in the cells).

Would I see it again? Yes, probably in Imax 3D over in Philly. It’s a long movie though, 2 hours and 37 minutes. Don’t take a drink in with you, you’ll have to leave to pee otherwise.

Now I come to that part where I must chastise stupid movie goers. Yes, your kids are adorable and I’m sure they are your pride and joy. However they cease to be adorable at all when you bring them to the movies. If you know your baby cries in movies or your toddler can’t sit still and won’t shut up, LEAVE THEM AT HOME.

“What’s that?”
“Is that Superman?”
“Look a Doggy!”
“Look a house!”
“Who is that?”
*Coughing Fit*

After forty five minutes of this the mother finally took the kid and left, leaving the father with another older kid to finish the film. Thank God that was the end of that. Oh wait, no it’s not.

RING RING RING

“Yeah we still here, okay we’ll see you later.”

Yes, annoying children AND annoying cellphone usage from the same damn family! Unbelievable! I honestly feel when movie theaters show that “Please silence your cell phones” message before the movies they should also have a “Please take your children out of the theater if they cry or cannot be quiet” message as well. Movies are no longer cheap so If I’m gunna go, I’m not going to listen to your cell phone conversations or your children. Shocking I know!

Dustin